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Posts tagged ‘caregivers’

Who Opened The Front Door?

open-doorway-with-light

I was doing my normal thing last night working quietly on my computer at 8:00 PM when I heard my front door open and the alarm go off and then the door immediately close.  To say I was freaked out is an understatement.  My heart was going a hundred miles an hour and I immediately called my adopted son Rene and told him someone had entered the apartment.  He said, “I’m on my way.”

Because of being robbed two years ago I have a wrought iron security door on my bedroom entrance and I knew that whoever entered could not get in to where I was.  Yet, it did not stop the fear from running through my body.  Thinking someone was in my apartment was way more than I could take.  Rene called me and told me that my neighbor had called him and said that my front door was not closed and they had opened and closed it.  He still was on his way over.

The last person who had left my apartment was my physical therapist Carmen and she did not lock the door.  This is not the first time this has happened with Carmen.  She’s always in such a hurry and her mind going is going nonstop.  She cannot even pause for ten seconds to make sure that she has locked my door knowing that I am here all alone.

In September, 2014 I had a bad fall and had to have 24 hour a day care giving.  I have been bedridden for 25 years and I have to pay people to take care of me.  Normally I can get along on my own at night, but after this accident I had to have round the clock care.  I hired a young woman to stay with me at night and she seemed intelligent and nice.  Considering the situation I wasn’t thinking clearly because I was concerned about being able to walk again, because I could not walk at all after this fall.  She came with good references.  Within two weeks she showed her true self because she would come back after being off for one day with the smell of alcohol heavy on her and she acted like a completely different person.  Totally hostile.  I knew she was doing cocaine.

Rene did his best to talk to her about her behavior and get her to do the job correctly. She did okay for another three weeks and then she became totally out of control. I had to let her go even though I still needed somebody here at nights I did not have a choice.

From the moment she was let go suddenly I started having vandalism every night on my property outside of my apartment. I have an air conditioner compressor inside of a cage, Propane tanks inside of a cage, and batteries, also inside of a cage, that run a back up emergency energy supply in case of no power. The high tensile strength locks were being broken and having to be replaced. The vandals attempted to cut the air conditioner hoses on so many occasions that we had to place the hoses inside of a channel.  The cables on the batteries were being cut.  The screens on my windows were cut. This has been going on ever since September and there has been over 90 attempted vandalisms.

Monday morning Rene told me that a lock on my front door was damaged and the bolts were not closing correctly. He had to buy a whole new locking mechanism on Monday. I thought it was just old age because I have lived here for ten years.

When he arrived last night he talked to the neighbor who said their kids had accidentally hit against my door when they were playing and it opened. Rene then explained something I didn’t understand. The reason he had to change the lock on Monday was because someone had tried to break the lock using a screwdriver.

There is no question who is behind this – the former caregiver. She hangs out with gang bangers.  She’s having them come and do this vandalism knowing that it’s costing me money. Rene believes that she made duplicates of my keys and they had tried to open the front door with one of the keys. They don’t know that I changed the locks immediately after she was fired. The police have been contacted, and unless they catch them in the act there’s nothing they can do. They patrol the area, but they cannot be here every moment.

All of this is costing me a great deal of money and I am not generating that much in sales. It also is preying upon my nerves because I realize my vulnerable situation more than anyone, considering I can only walk a few steps with the help of my walker.

I have been content in this apartment for the last ten years.  Sure there will always be problems in life, but not this constant bombardment of problems. Every day it seems like there’s something new and now they’re trying to get into the apartment and not just to damage outside. Even if they can’t get into my room there’s a lot of damage they could do inside.

It is not often that I write about my life because it is hard for most people to understand having been bedridden and surviving without family. This time I just felt I had to write about something I’m encountering daily.

If you have enjoyed or benefited from the work I’ve been doing here for over seven years and would like to make a donation you can by Clicking HERE. I would be extremely grateful.

Many blessings,
Cherokee Billie

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My Message of Thanks to You For This Past Year.

Greetings everyone and Blessed Thanksgiving to you and your family. I’d like to say thank you to all who have visited, followed, liked, and commented on this blog. It surprises me that thousands of people visit my blog each week.  I would like to thank all of you in your support of my efforts in reaching out to people from all walks of life to encourage and enlightened them on their path.  I’m grateful that the work that I have been doing all these years has helped people that I do not even know. It takes a lot of work to do social media every day, but I receive messages from people telling me that I have changed their life even though we have never spoken. There are days when I’m so sick or in so much pain that I do not feel like working on the Internet, but these messages, from people like you, keep me inspired and I know that I’m helping others.

I’m really quite amazed that I have made it through this year.  It has been a tumultuous year for me starting with falling last December and then falling again in September. Many of you know that I’ve been bedridden for 24 years due to an accident and countless diseases. My body is very weak, but my spirit is still very strong. The last accident has caused a multitude of problems that move from organ to organ I am walking a bit, but nowhere equal to what I was walking a year ago.  Not many people could make it on their own In my situation without any family. I know that my story has inspired so many people. For that I am grateful. It was extremely difficult for me to go public about my situation because of being a spiritual advisor. People think that because you are doing spiritual work everything in your life should be perfect, but that’s not always the case. Many other spiritual workers have written to me telling me that they find themselves having illness and not sure how to proceed in their spiritual work feeling like they are somehow a failure. Everything happens for reason and I believe in my particular case that the hardships that I go through have been for the refining of my soul. I would never have known who I really was if life had been easy for me.

The thanksgiving season always holds great meaning for me because my father. He came from incredible poverty and by his own intelligence and work obtained great success. Every year he held thanksgiving as a sacred time. He always showed his gratitude by donating turkey’s to the local homeless shelters as well as all the other acts of kindness that he did throughout the year. When I first became bedridden it was hard on my father to accept and yet he did. He himself was extremely sick with Parkinson’s disease. He made sure every year that someone delivered a thanksgiving dinner to me. With all the people that I have known not many were there for me when the chips were down. My father always was. This particular thanksgiving is really stirring up the memories for me because twenty years ago he went into a Coma on thanksgiving weekend and passed away a month later.

I miss his physical presence so much as he was always my hero. I know that he is with me and I sense his presence around me, but it’s never the same. I look forward to the time that we meet again face to face.

I am grateful to everyone that has used my services privately. As a small business person this recession has really hit my business tremendously. The feedback that I receive tells me that I have helped people on their path and given them direction.

I cannot express enough in words the gratitude I feel to those who have generously donated to me this past year. If it was not for you wonderful people who donated I would not be here now delivering this message. Many of you I know and many I do not. Once again it shows the generosity of spirit and those that have kindness residing in their hearts. I am grateful for the fact that I can walk a few steps and that so many of you care.

It has been tremendously humbling for me to reach out publicly and ask for help. Again there has to be a purpose behind this not only am I being blessed, but the givers are being blessed in ways that we can’t even imagine. There is a divine purpose behind all of this and someday we will understand it.

I leave you with my final thought at this time of gratitude.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one I hope someday you’ll join us and that the world will live as one.”  John Lennon

Sending you lots of love and light throughout these sacred holidays,
Cherokee Billie

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An Update on My Accident

Cherokee Billie in a picture taken fifteen years ago and current.

Cherokee Billie in a picture taken fifteen years ago and current.


Last month I posted the most personal message I have ever posted about my life and my health situation. Reference Calling On All Earth Angels By Clicking Here. In which I gave a brief rundown of my health history and the accident that I suffered in December 2013. Many people responded in such an outpouring of love and donations that it made me feel that what I have been doing as a Spiritual Advisor for close to 30 years has been worthwhile to some on this planet.

I had to reach out world wide last month and ask for donations because my business has been going downhill for the last year and I was flat broke when I had the accident, where I fell, and I now require 24 hour care plus tons of extra medical supplies. My whole life changed in that moment. I have been slowly deteriorating for 23 years, again reference the article link above, and I could barely do anything for myself prior to the accident, but at least I was able to be on my own in the evenings and do the few things necessary to keep alive.

So many people keep saying to me you can receive so much from the government. That is not true anymore. There are many elderly people who are homeless. The government does not help its people any longer. Government and state benefits have been dramatically slashed. You are on your own and I have realized that for a long long time and that is why I have been working at what I can do from a bed. It is extremely humbling to ask for help from the public. Contrary to what many people think, Medicare does not cover most long-term care costs. It does pay for some part-time services for people who are homebound and for short-term skilled nursing care, but it does not cover ongoing personal care at home, like help with bathing, cooking, errands, assistance with movement.

Nursing homes and 24-hour skilled care at home are the most expensive types of long-term care. Because nursing homes cost so much — thousands of dollars a month — most people who live in them for more than 6 months cannot pay the entire bill on their own

Citizens are obligated to take care of themselves. It is not the government’s job to take care of you, which is your responsibility; it is the job of the government to make sure that your rights aren’t infringed upon by others or the government itself.

elderly in prison

It’s now five weeks since I fell and I have become weaker because of not being able to do what I could normally such as walk to the bathroom using a walker or cane, shower with assistance, heat up food in the microwave, and brush my teeth. Now I need someone to help me with each one of these simple things that you do without even having to think about it.

Every move I make is causing pain somewhere in my neural muscular system because I have lost more strength by not being able to move after damaging the tendon in my right foot. Last week I was speaking to an acquaintance on the phone and they said that I sounded very down and I said: “No, I am not down, just in incredible pain.” I could tell from their silence that they really didn’t understand what I was saying. People misinterpret who you are when you are chronically ill. Only those who live with these conditions understand what it’s like. Just because you cannot SEE the disability, do not just assume that it is not there.

The one thing that I am able to do better than ever is my spiritual work, No matter how I feel when I start working with someone else everything recedes as my complete spiritual self is involved with them and not focused on any part of me. I am willing to work for money, but I cannot compete with the large psychic companies that can pay thousands of dollars a month for advertising. I am a one person business. When I started out the competition was not as fierce as it is now and also I had front page ranking on Google for four years. Two years ago they changed their algorithm and when they did they knocked my website to kingdom come. I have to work hard on social media to keep my name out in the public. This is why my business is struggling to stay alive.

The last few years have been difficult watching my body deteriorate at a rapid rate. I am down to skin and bones and not able to put on any weight. This is what happens when your body is unable to function anymore. It is common for people who are dying to lose weight and not be able to keep weight on. My time is very limited and I do not mind dying, I am just not looking forward to the process. I look forward to the afterlife as I know what to expect because of working in spirit for so many years. I am grateful that my experiences as a psychic have helped me be content about my own death. It is the people around me who are most uncomfortable about my dying. They just do not know how to accept it and what to say. There is not much to say in these circumstances, it is just important to be there listening and doing your best to understand the other person’s situation.

I would appreciate if you are able to donate and/or please share the link to my GoFundMe Donation Page. on your Facebook page, e-mail it to friends, other social media, or any organizations that you know might be helpful. The more this is shared the more possibilities for me to receive help.

This is what dying slowly is like when you are all alone without family. It’s important to have good caregivers you pay to take care of your needs because friends get tired of being called upon for help constantly. I pray that you never end up in my situation.

Thank you for reading this and please share the donation page with others.

Many blessings,
Cherokee Billie

cronicpain

Letter To People Without Chronic Pain!

In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand …
… These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me…

Please understand that being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I’m still me– stuck inside this body. I still worry about my business, my friends, and most of the time – I’d still like to hear you talk about yours, too.

Please understand the difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time. In fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I’m getting better, or any of those things. Please don’t say,
“Oh, you’re sounding better!” or “But you look so healthy!” I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.

Please understand that being able to stand up for 2 minutes doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for 5 minutes, or 30 minutes. Just because I managed to stand up for 5 minutes yesterday doesn’t mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you’re either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one, it gets more confusing everyday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That is one of the hardest and most frustrating components of chronic pain.

Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, “sitting”, “walking”, “thinking”, “concentrating”, “being sociable” and so on … it applies to everything. That’s what chronic pain does to you.

Please understand that chronic pain is variable. It’s quite possible (for many, it’s common) that one day I am able to walk to the bathroom and back, while the next day I’ll have trouble standing up. Please don’t attack me when I’m ill by saying, “But you did it before!” or “Oh, come on, I know you can do this!” If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. If you are able, please try to always remember how very lucky you are–to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do.

Please understand that “getting out and doing things” does not make me feel better, and with my severe debilitated body it would just cause much more pain. You don’t know what I go through or how I suffer in my own private time. Telling me that I need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it¨ may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don’t you know that I would? Another statement that hurts is, “You just need to push yourself more, try harder…” Obviously, chronic pain can affect the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single activity for a short or a long period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can’t always read it on my face or in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for years?), but it is not created by depression.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/stay in bed, that probably means that I do have to do it right now – it can’t be put off or forgotten just because I am right in the middle of doing something.

Chronic pain does not forgive, nor does it wait for anyone.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don’t. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the thought, and it’s not because I don’t want to get well. Lord knows that isn’t true. In all likelihood, if you’ve heard of it or tried it, so have I. In some cases, I have been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes failure, which in and of itself can make me feel even lower. If there were something that cured, or even helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we’d know about it.

There is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with chronic pain. If something worked, we would KNOW. It’s definitely not for lack of trying. If, after reading this, you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

If I seem touchy, it’s probably because I am. It’s not how I try to be. As a matter of fact, I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. I have been, and am still, going through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wreaks havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability. I ask you to bear with me, and accept me as I am. I know that you cannot literally understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as is possible, I am asking you to try to understand in general.

In many ways I depend on you – people who are not sick. I need you to visit me. Sometimes I need your help with a phone conversation so I don’t feel so alone. You are my link to the normalcy of life. You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss.

I know that I have asked a lot from you, and I do thank you for listening. It really does mean a lot.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

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